24 Things to Do Before You Try to Conceive

By: Brightest Editors

September 18, 2017

If you and your partner are trying to conceive there are several things you must do to prepare you for parenthood. Several very wise Mama Bears helped to curate these words of wisdom – while having a little fun in the process.  Follow Brightest on Facebook to add your own tips.

  1. Make a delicious meal for you and your partner. Sit down at the table, stare at it for 30 minutes and then enjoy. You’ll never eat a hot meal again.
  2. Fill a backpack with 20 pounds of weight. Walk around all day with it on your hip or try exercising. You’ll always be carrying some extra baggage now – albeit cute baggage.
  3. Withdraw $17,000 from your banking account and flush it down the toilet because lots of things that shouldn’t go down the toilet will and that’s what our Baby Center calculations estimate it will cost for your little one in the first year. This includes breastfeeding for a year.
  4. Wreck all your nice furniture and color on your walls. You won’t see new furniture for another 5-10 years.
  5. Set your alarm for every two hours – embrace your new sleep cycle.
  6. Pretend you only have 2 minutes to shower, and that includes shaving your legs.
  7. Find four cats, attempt to herd them all into one closet without losing fingers. Once you have successfully completed this mission, you’re ready to conceive.
  8. Make a list of all the things you think you’ll never do or allow as a parent and burn it.
  9. Same goes for your birth plan.
  10. Make a recording of yourself saying “Mom” – everyone likes to hear his or her own name, right? Wrong. Play it on repeat for 15 minutes while increasing the volume.
  11. Imagine you’re on the show Amazing Race, now imagine this as your new way of life. Everything will feel like an amazing race.
  12. Call your best friend. As soon as they answer, hang up. This is how much time you’ll have to catch up after baby.
  13. Equip your phone with the pile of poo emoji because you’ll be texting more about poo than you ever thought was possible.
  14. Have faith your partner will always know where you left your keys, wallet, cell phone or shoes. Mommy brain is real.
  15. Reduce your morning make-up routine to 3 minutes. Make sure you can apply mascara while singing ‘Row Row Row Your Boat’ and a tiny determined person is climbing up your leg.
  16. Replace your middle name with “Worry” because that’s all you’ll be able to do for the rest of your life. Worry about your little one’s safety, what they’re eating (and what they’re not) and so on.
  17. Get dressed for a fancy dinner then squirt ketchup down the front of your shirt before walking out the door.
  18. While at dinner, cut your food into small bite-sized pieces and then throw them under the table. We challenge you to pick up every piece before leaving. And, be sure to give your wait staff a big tip.
  19. Have a pet? Purchase a large bag of food and leave it open for their enjoyment. It may be a while until you check on their food supply.
  20. Learn how to juggle, seriously juggle. You’ll soon be juggling the schedule of a third human in your household.
  21. Crumble 10 saltines in your hand. Open your fancy purse, and dump them in. This is what the bottom of your bag will look like.
  22. Do the same in your car, but up the number of saltines to 50. Add some wet cheerios for good measure.
  23. Place an infant potty in the back of your car and a tub of wipes. You’ll never leave home without them when you’re potty training your little one.
  24. Smile – being a parent is a fun ride full of belly laughs, giggles and making sweet memories. A parent’s day-to-day life can be funny…only usually the next day.

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